Valentine’s Day According to Her
Girls can be a bit hypocritical when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I am guilty as charged. When I happily lived my single lifestyle I shunned the day that crept up on us in mid February. I always thought to myself, isn’t February depressing enough? Why must I be terrorized by the nauseating PDA (public display of affection) that ensues on this dreadful Hallmark-created day? All of my friends that were paired up would get flowers at work, obnoxiously big heart boxes of chocolate brought to their door, and rose petals sprawled out over their bedroom floor. It’s safe to say I avoided those friends for days following the “heart” day.
Now, being paired up myself, I finally see the other side. I very quickly became a part of that group of people whom instagram sweet couple photos as I enjoy my flowers and chocolates and cuddle up to my significant other. I reveled in the fact that on the 14th of February I would be having a romantic dinner with candlelight, bubbly and presented with a special gift. So yes, as many may say I had crossed over to the dark side.
So then I started to find myself feeling a bit of guilt. I knew what the other side was feeling… I’ve thought it for the plethora of Valentine’s Days I spent together with my girlfriends as we self-loathed over a bottle of wine. It was not so long ago the I felt put down by the menacing advertising and gushy couples spilling all over my social media. In an attempt not follow the other very annoying couples I’ve tried to tone it down a bit. I still like to have a romantic night with my boyfriend and enjoy some great champagne (I mean who would say no to champagne?), but I don’t see huge gifts as necessary and I limit photos on social media to one (if any). Gifts are small if any and a card is a must. The card serves as a form of expression of appreciation for each other.
I also think that Valentine’s Day is more versatile than people think. It can really be shared with anyone you love. Spending the night with your best friends or catching a movie with your mom are both still great ways to spend V-day. It doesn’t have to be so conventional. My mother still sends me a card and sweets to this day (thanks Mom)!
Nonetheless I do acknowledge that the target audience still remains to be couples but I refuse to feel sorry for celebrating the holiday with my boyfriend. I don’t think anyone ever should feel that way. Instead, I feel lucky. Lucky enough to be able to have someone I want to share it with. An anniversary is celebrating a milestone in your relationship but Valentine’s Day – that’s celebrating love.
Valentine’s Day According to Him
It sometimes seems that Valentine’s Day is a holiday destined to pretty much piss everyone off. Singles (voluntary and otherwise) are subjected to various degrees of implied criticism of their lifestyles. Dateless bar and waiting staff are compelled to work so that their mated colleagues can wine and dine their lifestyle sidekicks whilst they in turn have to suffer through the doughy interactions of the newly-coupled. Then there are the uncomfortably apathetic silences shared at tables by long-term couples. One gently resents the dent in their post-Christmas wallet whilst the other passive-aggressively suppresses their disappointment in the lack of imagination and ability to plan ahead shown yet again by their partner.
Me though, I love Valentine’s Day. It may just be because I’m an unrepentant romantic, but this is the time of year I always start to notice the sun and birds again. I love having an excuse to go out and spend some quality time with my girlfriend simply for the reason that we’re a couple. Also, I get bored easily and even this corporate shill of a holiday comes as welcome relief from the grinding monotony of January.
I haven’t always felt this way and, not surprisingly, my enthusiasm for Valentine’s Day has negatively correlated with increasing periods of time spent single. Furthermore I never quite got the point of flowers. When adverts tell me how to express my affection for someone my natural instinct is to go away and think about monkeys or something. However, I’ve found that Valentine’s Day in Sweden is not pushed nearly as hard as in other countries. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen one red cardboard heart stuck in a window, let alone the relentless deluge of advertising attempting to guilt me into buying a oversized teddybear with a romantic platitude embroidered on his tummy.
I guess this lack of pressure has let me appreciate just how much a bunch of flowers and a dinner reservation means to my girlfriend, rather than selfishly dwelling on my own feelings of relief that I’ve dodged a bullet by fulfilling the expectations of the card companies. And then, I should also say that it’s in large part down to my girlfriend that I tend to look forward to February 14th and the surprises it can still hold. Her latest suggestion was inspired by an advert for an indoor shooting range in the city – “Why don’t we go there for Valentine’s? I’ve always wanted to know how to use a Glock.”
Words by Angela Markovic & Denny Way
